D&D Meta Thread

[Kashtan]

lol if theres anything causing Yulya insomnia its losing Ashley which she considers her responsibility. and to a lesser degree experimenting on the dwarf. i tried to give the items  a reasonable weight like you suggested but the official stats are all over the place. a warhammer only weighs 5lbs but a pickaxe 10 lbs. i mean wtf. i will give the ore samples 1lb each.
so anyway Yulya has decided to wait until the girls wake up and question them before reviving the dwarf. it will take an hour and she needs some rest too.

oh btw - is SheShe gone too now? she said Corellon was in charge now. did Yulya also lose her guardian angel? that would be - tough for her.

[Joy]

Aw c'mon Joy!
I want to help with cleaning and moisture and keeping the girls warm and Yulya gets punished for it? My exquisite cleaning service is second to none, and a great honor! Your system is the only one to dislike it - and with Ashley out of the game we're in the majority now! Summer better makes regular - very regular use of her lifestyle cleaning magic or she'll be subjected to the same treatment. Humans are filthy creatures! I've had dirt and cat hair in my tent long enough. Never again!

Yulya is responsible for your behavior since you refuse to take responsibility.

Summer will be rescued by her goddess before you can touch her and you will be separated into four magically sealed filthy jars stored at the heart of four filthy volcanos in four different filthy planes of existence and your ship will be blinked out of existence. It's not a threat, this is in the script.

Yulya and Cat will need to quest to four different mount dooms, ending up covered in soot that they can't wash off, one of them in the negative plane held by The Raven Queen who will stop showering, one in a deserted plane with no atmosphere, it's covered in dust, one in the mechanical plane where they'll have to defeat the demon lord, and let me just say, his odor is ripe, you remember that one you pissed off, and one in the Feywild where neither Yulya nor Cat are capable of existing.

So maybe think about that before you do it. Also the jars will be guarded additionally by ancient ice dragons covered in pine sap and they spread sticky sap everywhere especially in everyone's hair and on their car windshields, ironically within the lava biomes, just so you are as uncomfortable as possible, the jars are held at -40C indefinitely so you can't physically recover.

Then the Dragons will be taught how to make animate bricks, really dusty ones, and they will play happily with the bricks making a complete mess as friends and then teach the bricks to be racist against slimes and think poorly of jars.

Additionally, as punishment, Yulya will be struck paraplegic so she'll have to use a wheelchair pushed by Cat, it's magically cursed, "Yulya's Dirty Wheelchair".

But if that's the way you want to play, who am I to say you can't.

[Joy]

Is SheShe gone too now?

Well, I'd like to say this is your punishment for Alice thinking she can clean NPCs let alone even think of touching Summer, but even I think that would be very mean, so instead SheShe is gone for no good reason on her own accord. I believe that's more humane, but I have to admit I'm not an expert on what's humane.

[SheShe] Sorry, I'm a Revian in another timeline now. Soooo... But you don't need me to defeat one silly old... dragon?

Ancient Elder Eldrich Lich White-Green Dragon. Did you know, SheShe was my DM in my last novel where I married Bear and was sister-wife to Autumn? I gotta say, she was pretty harsh because I had to watch them and their children and grandchildren die of old age to the point that there was no longer anyone close enough to my original family to think of me until I left from heartbreak. So I'd say she let you off pretty easy.

[Misha] I get to be DM in Cici (SheShe's new name) and Winter's (Ashley's other name) book. Yay!   

[Kashtan]

Yulya will be struck paraplegic so she'll have to use a wheelchair pushed by Cat, it's magically cursed

finally we have arrived in dnd2024 - woke edition with the combat wheelchair!


sorry but Yulya will continue to employ Alices cleaning services. first bc its hilarious and second because theyre useful. im sure Summer can take care of herself she already demonstrated she can use cleaning magic so there shouldnt be a problem. the dwarf however - well hes dead.

[Joy]

No one asked for a combat wheelchair, it is a punishment.

If Alice wants to clean an of age Dwarf man who is dead or unconscious I don't see any issue with that. He will taste surprisingly like truffles mixed with spoiled milk.

[Kashtan]

the combat wheelchair is punishment enough

[Alice]

I have to admit I'm not an expert on what's humane.

I mean, you kill your NPCs in the most gruesome ways (or force me to gouge out their eyes), but cleaning and healing them is a no-no? Keep your grim-dark fantasies in your own D&D runs! The dwarf will die a second death from sepsis if he's not treated properly from the in-and outside. I'm the maggot cleaning the Gladiator's arm wound.

[Joy]

Dwarves need a cleenin'! Enjoy! His feet are especially dirty as he doesn't have boots.