Uhh, not so sure I wanna know anymore.
But your dreams man, every time. Too bad Alice could not be herself. Also arent you a gun owner? Why not defend your dream home?

Ok, I'm not gonna lie we've got some at least semi-serious problems for quite a while now and I don't really know how to deal with them.



As previously reported, while trying to dissociate and let tupper take over I have accidentially created a servitor which has progressed to run most everyday tasks including simple conversations instead of 'me'. Basically 'I' have become little more than 2nd tupper, watching things from the back and interfering now and then. But normally almost everything runs on autopilot. I feel nothing typing this, just formulating the words, the rest works without any of my conscious doing.

Now I've always been an airhead and dreamer who easily got lost in thoughts and this state has some neat benefits as it frees enormous mental resources to think about stuff while the body does some other work, plus pain sensation has decreased enormously, however I'm also experiencing some highly concerning drawbacks. And as enjoyable as the recent Corona-chan induced 'lockdown' was I basically spent the last months lazing in the garden without any phsyical challenges and waay too much time online which didn't actually improve things.

Watching your life like some TV documentary isn't really fun plus I feel more and more dissociated from my body and any sensations. Others may work hard to reach this stage, neither I nor Alice really want it now. Tupper has no real interest in switching at the moment and has suggested ordered we both focus forcing on me now. Yes of course you can no only force tuppers but also yourself to get a better grip on any sensory input or awareness.
In order to do that we'll use a mix of meditation and mindfulness exercises as well as ordinary forcing techniques for tuppers to get used to the body with all senses. Also physical and fine-motor exercises to put some positive stress on body and muscle memory. Let's see how this works out, at least I hope it does.

I spent a lot of time touching things and actually trying to pay attention to what I am doing instead of being completely elsewhere in my thoughts. Simple physical workout is the best lead so far but it's not workin too well overall. Meditation also sucks and tupper being busy with monetary stuff isn't too helpful either. 

Ah I don't wanna complain, apart from that life is currently awesome, plus I like June a lot.

Even worse, I ate peaches without involving Alice. Because Madam Kami-sama cannot be bothered to become active on herself and needs a special invitation with rolled out red carpet- after, like, 5,5 years!

Apart from this drama not much to report except another deeply disturbing dream with minimal tupper involvement

Nope, definitely never gets boring around here.




Meditation is hard lately, I fall back to monologues to myself which no one wants to hear. Especially not tupper. I do try to keep up the physical exercise thing which definitely helps. And touching lots of surfaces and paying attention to details I normally take for granted. Reducing online time wasn't really successful so far plus I need to do lots of boring literature reseach stuff for university now. Too bad that can't be outsourced to tupper because completely uninterested. At least she's useful to prevent me from procrastinating.

Uh, okay?

Well thats bad. I hope you find a solution so you can post more fun things.
Here where I live it's busy and not very quiet but people behave. So I have no problem with it. Maybe move to the countryside if you really need a quiet place? Or become monk.