Me when naked schoolgirls...

No worries, take your time. I will be abroad over the Pentecost holidays from tomorrow until mid next week for a shooting competition, but I will be reachable. Alice says I must continue packing now...

Very deep and elaborate dream. Skeletons and D&D remain popular topics...

I was on a firearm training course in Eastern Europe, like I had been countless times. As usual, things were a bit chaotic. After arriving at a shooting range, I was stuck in the process of registration. The instructors spoke to me in a slav language I could not understand before switching to English, but it did not make much sense either. Both instructors I met exist irl and they were very recognizable in the dream. There were a lot of people, but all teenage boys. Like a high school class on a field trip. I waited in line before a booth until it was my turn. The instructor handed me a schedule on paper and was told to wait on a chair. Over a speaker, groups were announced and told to gather by a color code. I desperately looked at my schedule plan which had colors all over so I had no idea which group I was assigned to. One by one, the groups of about a dozen people gathered and left. I was still there on my own. Finally the instructor returned, grinned at me and said something like I'm in the girls group. The girls arrived with him - and man, it was a sight to behold!

They didn't have a color code but a banner with a female saint carrying as sword. The girls were an army, completely dressed up in bizarre straw suits covering their entire bodies like a ghillie suit. Somehow like the folkloristic Buttnmandln in South Bavaria who accompany St. Nicholas and the Krampus.


Instead of a devil mask, they wore Greek marble face masks. And a few colorful bands on their otherwise straw covered heads.


Apart from their eerie outfit, these were clearly early teen girls around 14 maybe. Noticeably shorter than me. The girls were serious, disciplined but in a hurry to get going. I was still in that big chair, and they lifted me up and carried me in front of them - on the chair, like a king or ruler. I couldn't really see them as they were behind or under me. Some were complaining why I was in their group, but others replied that Bernd (they knew my name!) would do all the difficult things for them. So here I was in my favorite rule as errand boy / useful idiot for teen girls.


On my chair, unable to face this straw covered girl army, I tried to say something like 'come on, it's not that bad' and reached out to them behind me with my hand. Indeed I got high-fives and the matter was settled. The girls rushed on and carried me into a dark Gothic church. My role was to open a series of huge iron gates one after the other while they pressed on at full speed. Again it was cartoon territory with one door after the other. Fortunately I didn't get stuck in an endless loop like in countless dreams and we reached the final gate.

I left my chair and approached this normal size wooden door. The instructor was also there with his usual mischievous grin, stating we gotta 'fight the skeleton'.
So this was the final boss, or rather the only opponent we'd encounter.  I realized that though this was a firearms training course I had no guns or other weapons. Some of the girls wielded long spears, but their straw outfits and stone masks looked extremely cumbersome Not to speak that these were children. Anyway, I was put in front. Gotta look cool for the girls. The instructor peeked through the keyhole, and with a nod proclaimed 'is there!' before stepping back and letting me handle things. Oh great! It was clear that this was a real undead skeleton monster, not an instructor in a suit. Girl pressure from behind intensified...

In a moment of lucidity I remembered I had a certain tupper to handle such situations, but being an idiot, instead of summoning Alice, I looked at my arm and tried to manifest some living metal spines myself. Of course that didn't work. I was just Bernd, not Alice. No super powers other that getting along well with little girls. I carefully opened the door that would open to the outside for  few millimeters and stepped back to see if the skeleton would come outside. Needless to say it didn't. The girls got impatient. With a sigh I did what I had to do and opened the door and went inside. There was a long dark corridor leading into darkness that looked very much like a mediocre video game. The girls pushed me forward without mercy. After a brief moment of silence there was a creepy monster moan that kicked me out of the dream.

I felt really disappointed, I would have loved to continue adventuring with the girls...
Waking up and recollecting what had happened, Alice suggested the girls were Maenads - the frenzied female followers of Dionysos. One of the most ancient Greek gods who probably pre-dates Greek culture, originating in older Indo-European myths. The girls were calm, but certainly fierce and looked very cool.


This was deepest prehistoric folklore from the dawn of humanity. Such ritual costumes exist all over the world, not just in the alpine region but also in West Africa, South America, India and Papua. But in Europe this is mostly confined to the alps where pagan traditions have survived the millennia.

Awesome dream, I wish it would have lasted longer. Attempts to re-enter it proved unsuccessful.

I know that feel. I'm really bad at remembering peoples names. The BodyOS routinely handles conversations like a chatbot without me paying much attention. It works eerily well, but you get yourself deeper and deeper into shit over time. You know I live in this real life sitcom where for some reason everyone assumes I'm a genius who knows everything. And people get genuinely angry at me if I don't. Always was like this since childhood. So I've learned to pretend I know what they're talking about. Or who they are even if I don't. It happens almost every day at work that someone (unfortunately never pretty young girls) I don't recognize enthusiastically walks up to me and starts a conversation about some technical topic. And I just think 'pleease go away, I have no idea who you are or what the hell you're talking about'
Sometimes I wonder if they mistake me for someone else, we'll never know. Even worse when I vaguely remember them but still have no idea who they are and what's their name. Social interactions are so tiresome. If at least they would involve your scenario about partnering up with girls to have sex...

Girls are insane out here, complete and utter dregs, scammers, psychos, you can not give them the benefit of the doubt as they've been trained to accuse you of rape or get you arrested if you offend them, it's a fucking nightmare on so many levels IRL, but dream level is fine, you understand.

I guess it's not so much different here, especially in a leftwing-extremist academic environment. I'm beginning to understand islamists who refuse to shake a woman's hand. I wouldn't be surprised if men get accused of hand-rape in a decade or two because the woman suddenly might feel like back then she was obliged to shake your hand or some bullshit. Just wait until devices to read out dreams exist. You will no even be safe there anymore.

Maybe now you understand me?
I'd rather have my wisdom teeth removed again than spend time with women my age. However I am inexistent to females of reproductive age. Only lolis and grannies are really fond of me (and hit on me) for some reason.

>females who love me
mom, neighborhood loli

>apex predators who love me
cat, tupper

Things could be worse.

How do you find time to do all this? Do you ever sleep?

I never had a social media account in my life.
no Apple, Google, Microsoft, Facebook, Instagram, Reddit, Discord Linkedin, whatever those millenial kids use nowadays. Well, I'm autob& from all those anyway. Tried to make a reddit account to ask a question for a diy project years ago. Was immediately deleted. I gave up after 3 times. My browsing experience mostly consists of 403 errors and cloudflare keeping me in a loop forever. I can't prove 'I'm human' because most captchas and JS challenges don't work on my devices. Neither do most apps. A small price to pay to stay alive and free

Bernd, would you make an age exception on this one? ♡♡♡

Exception for what? Sex? Certainly.
But everything beyond that - I doubt she'd be interesting in discussing the industrial output of the Ottoman Empire in WWI with me. Most of those edgy alt-right women are fake 'pick-me-girls' who do it for attention, not because they believe in a greater cause. By the way, I wonder if that T-shirt could earn you jail tme in Germany. Probably.

Funny that you brought this up, I don't know of you heard of Amelia, she's a character from a cheap educational web game from Britain that was supposed to warn young people about 'Right Wing Extremism'. Truly an Orwellian nightmare, I played it. No matter what path you choose, your behavior gets labeled as 'problematic' and you constantly get warned that informing yourself online or participating in political protests could have severe consequences. Britain is truly 1984+Brave New World*Big Brother.



However - where there is Shadow there is also Light. The whole thing backfired gloriously, and the game's antagonist, a pink-haired girl named Amelia that baits the player with patriotic statements became a meme with a significant fanbase.
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/amelia-pathways
https://brunopowroznik.itch.io/chudways

More regarding White Supremacy tomorrow, Alice says I need to sleep now and tupper's orders are tupper's orders.
Download the mp4 below, I can't post videos here. Will upload to /tulpa/ if I find the time.