And you thought 2026 would have trouble topping 2025??
It's Jan 3rd and Venezuela has been liberated, Maduro arrested!

Thank you President Trump!
Fuck yeah, I've waited for this so long, I couldn't believe my ears when I heard that on the radio today. I'm a bit off-civilization right now but this is the big news everywhere. I have several German-Venezuelan friends (Germans whose ancestors emigrated to Venezuela) and who had to flee to Germany because than commie ruined the country. Venezuela was once one of the most beautiful countries in the world. I really hope things work out now, I wanted to go there for so long. My friends still have luxury real estate there that was worthless because communism. You couldn't live there. Maybe now. I wouldn't mind to spend the winter there. Right now everyone is anxious and nobody knows what will happen next. But it can only get better.



Next Iran please!
Another country I really want to visit but it's not under the current towelheads.

In Germany Police would storm the house and arrest everyone for terrorism.

I did this kind of thing back in my esrly 20's because I'm crazy like that. The things I made were cereal brands
Grape seeds and Nutshells (grape nuts) because those things are hard as rocks.
Oops nothing (capt'n crunch oops all berries) because I was upset that once it was all berries, the berries tasted different
and Sad'ohs (Cheerios) because the plain ones taste like sad.

I can't find the originals, I know I actually printed them out and put them on the boxes, those are long gone, but the files are missing too. Google "oops all" and hot pocket flavors meme and you see this is a well loved hobby.

Whoa, and here I thought I was the only one doing this!
I remember Kellog's Cornflakes -> Chaos Khorneflakes with a Greater Demon of Khorne behind a bowl full of blood instead of milk.
My favorite work was Nasi Goreng -> Nazi Göring with a picture of Herman Göring in his white Reichsmarschall uniform and a speech bubble saying Wenn euch DAS nicht schmeckt will ich Meier heißen! (If you dislike the taste of this, I'll be called Meier)
Background:
Göring was chief of the airforce and said that if one allied plane ever reached Germany People could call him Meier (one of the most generic German names). Needless to say, German cities were bombed to ashes and people called the air raid sirens 'Meiers Jagdhorn' (Meier's hunting bugle) because Göring would rather go hunting or on holiday than do his job. People still liked him just because of that. He didn't give a fuck.



In pre-internet times and before printers existed, I memed by collecting and cutting out all sorts of exploitable pics and text from newspapers and catalogues. I'd assemble collages from that and send it to friends in a letter. Good times!

Nowadays I have to keep funny pictures on multi-encrypted drives and use uncrackable high security devices that leave no evidence in case police raids my home for some bs reason and finds 'potentially divisive content' / 'possible copyright infringement' / 'Nazi codes'. Alice disposed of all physical evidence including my real life paper meme collection because we can't have nice things here. When did everything turn into such an Orwellian nightmare?

That image is from Wikipedia. No Nazi symbolism because it's in our living room. Do you know what bullshit I have to go through just to post Nazi symbolism on the internet without going to jail? People here have been arrested because neighbors saw something through their window that could have been interpreted as a 'Nazi code'. Even if eventually acquitted you spend half a year in jail, lose your job, firearm permits and have tens of thousands of attorney fees. And you will remain under scrutiny for the rest of your life. Welcome to Germany.

Making Swastika cookies and having to hide them is already way beyond borderline.

Alice yelled at a morbidly obese woman at the supermarket today and called her a fat pig. Well, she couldn't hear her of course but I still had to laugh.

These girls look like shit now, oof.

They are Russians. They look extremely hot as Teens but from there it quickly goes downhill. Well they undoubtedly looked good when Tatu became famous. I had to look it up and man, that was 2002. They were born in 84 and 85 so they are actually younger than me and were 16-17 back then. Borderline.

Everyone who claims to understand how magnets work is lying.

Fun anecdote - I was at a nice little street restaurant in Pisa, Italy - peacefully waiting for dinner with Alice on a summer evening. Now going to a restaurant (seemingly) alone is already cringe and finding one that my peculiar tupper actually approves of is a chore but it turned out worse than expected. On the table beside me was a stereotypical middle aged WASP American with his wife. He looked like Robert Redford, blond hair, perfectly white false teeth with equally false smile. And a mission. Instead of talking to his wife, he entertained everyone around him, especially me as I was obviously alone. Turned out he was not only a religious nutjob but also a Free Energy conspiracytard who had spent tens of thousands of dollars on - yes - magnets to build a perpetuum mobile. This was almost 10 years ago and back then Alice didn't have the strength to keep people from bothering me. You know my INFP superpowers, I am way too nice and agreeable and the BodyOS excels at making people feel understood so they leave me alone. This backfired catastrophically with this guy who now had found a victim who seemingly listened to his nonsense with interest. I can't say he was a bad guy, rather one of these cheerful Christian fundamentalist missionaries, he was even entertaining but man, I spent at least half an hour on listening to his absurd magnet constructions to create energy out of nothing. There was no escape, I had already ordered my dinner at the restaurant and it took a long time to arrive. And I had been looking forward to practice imposition with Alice and just spend time with her. This guys wife looked equally awkward and obviously ashamed that her husband gave a performance to an entire restaurant. One of the weirdest experiences I ever had.

I don't like such dreams and they mostly end with me falling down from somewhere.

Super weird dream. Try to discern what it's about from the images first before you continue reading.
I was at Bear's house - to wash my laundry because my washing machine was broken. What else than fly to California for that?
No, actually it looked like I lived close by. The house had posh 60s design interior. Bear's Ex-Gf was also there but I never really saw her face. I also came to fix a couple of things and catch gerbils that were loose. I said the gerbils were cute but spread disease with their poop. Can't have rodents in your house. I managed to grab a few and pull them out of a Tom & Jerry -like mouse hole in the wall. I also crudely fixed the fence which was made of absurdly thin mesh wire.



Bear's Ex said I can't leave the laundry here to dry so I have to take it back with me after washing. I said no problem, I got two laundry baskets with me.
Bear asked why the fuck I have laundry baskets as if it was the most outrageous thing to own. Maybe Americans don't have laundry baskets? I said I used to bring our laundry to a laundry service with my parents when I was a kid, which is convenient because you can dry tumble everything there (we never did irl).



Bear remained skeptical and said: But what about trousers, do you wash them all together?" I again was baffled, maybe it's considered indecent in the US to wash trousers together with the rest of the laundry. I said yeah, I throw it all together. Bear laughed and said I was a real troublemaker like the Italian mafia guys in Lethal Weapon IV. I was pretty sure there were no Italian mafia guys in Lethal Weapon IV but my brain corrected this instantly by viewing me the scene in question. If you thought the dream was weird so far, now it gets really weird.

Two elderly Italian men were standing at a large walnut tree. One went up a ladder while the other handed him a coach gun. In the tree, or rather on the outermost branches, were 3 small gray aliens dressed in little cowboy suits and hats. They didn't move and looked more like props. What the hell?



The man who looked like Danny Devito easily shot down two, then handed me the shotgun for the last one. I climbed up the ladder, the last alien was partly obscured by the stem of the tree, not more than 10m away. As always in dreams, the gun was extremely weird. The barrel was now twisted 45° to the left. I had no idea where to aim but tried my luck. Coach gun failed to fire. I reloaded it, now working more like a single-barreled pump-action shotgun, but nothing. Just click when pulling the trigger.



Eventually Alice took over and after more unsuccessful attempts to shoot just charged the alien, dashing across the tree like a squirrel and clobbering it with the buttstock. Alice style. Turned out the 'alien' indeed was little more than a grey sack dressed in a cowboy vest and hat. It popped away in a puff of smoke and dropped as loot:
A black-and-red box of Geco-brand 7.62x39 AK ammo. Ridiculously expensive for AK ammo at over 1€ per round.



Alice also unloaded the shotgun again, it was also loaded with a Geco Red slug in white transparent plastic case. Highly reliable. Alice mused the gun was at fault before waking up.



Definitely a top candidate for weirdest dream of the year.
Dream soundtrack:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R41JZVJ_y8I